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Dancing Kleenex

How do you get a kleenex to Dance? Put a little boogie in it! Clean one liner; Q. Why was the baby pen crying? A. Because his mum had been working on a long run-on sentence. Clean knock knock: Knock Knock....

Split Pea Soup

A man walked into a diner, and he sits down. The waitress comes up to him and says the special for today is Split Pea Soup. And boy does the man love split pea soup. So he orders a bowl. The waitress says "Sorry sir, but...

YMCA

The blonde saw a sign that said YMCA and she said: "Look they spelt MACY's wrong!!!"...

Blessed!

A pastor got pulled over for speeding and the pastor said "Blessed are the merciful" ... and the cop said "Go and sin no more"!...

Blonde Vs. Lawyer

A blonde was sitting beside a lawyer on a airplane and the lawyer kept nudging the blonde to play an intelligence game. The lawyer proposed.. I'll give you fifty dollars for every question you ask me that I can't answer....

Ropes & Mushrooms!

A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve ropes here" so the rope leaves. Loops himself up, and rubs himself against a brick wall. He then walks back in the bar. The bartender says "I told you we do...

Kindergarden first day!

So this little girl comes home right? And she goes to daddy and says "I'm never going to school again." So the dad replys "why??" She exclaims "because my teacher said 5+5=10, 6+4=10, 7+3=10 ,8+2=10, and that 9+1=10!" ...

Giraffe in a bar

One day a man and a giraffe walk into a bar, the man stays all afternoon and gets terribly drunk. The giraffe has fallen a sleep on the floor. As the man starts to walk out, the bartender says "Hey man, you gonna leave t...

Three island men

There was 3 men an englishman, a german and a scotishman they were all stuck on a island. One day they found a lamp they rubbed it and a genie came out. He said "you all get one wish". So the englishman said "I wish I li...

Doctor

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I'm being ignored. I been waiting forever! Doctor: Next!...


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