Dancing Kleenex
How do you get a kleenex to Dance? Put a little boogie in it!
Clean one liner;
Q. Why was the baby pen crying?
A. Because his mum had been on a working on a long sentence.
Clean knock knock:
Knock Knock.
...
Split Pea Soup
A man walked into a diner, and he sits down. The waitress comes up to him and says the special for today is Split Pea Soup. And boy does the man love split pea soup. So he orders a bowl. The waitress says "Sorry sir, but...
YMCA
The blonde saw a sign that said YMCA and she said: "Look they spelt MACY's wrong!!!"...
Blessed!
A pastor got pulled over for speeding and the pastor said "Blessed are the merciful" ... and the cop said "Go and sin no more"!...
Ropes & Mushrooms!
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve ropes here" so the rope leaves. Loops himself up, and rubs himself against a brick wall. He then walks back in the bar.
The bartender says "I told you we do...
Kindergarden first day!
So this little girl comes home right? And she goes to daddy and says "I'm never going to school again." So the dad replys "why??"
She exclaims "because my teacher said 5+5=10, 6+4=10, 7+3=10 ,8+2=10, and that 9+1=10!" ...
Three island men
There was 3 men an englishman, a german and a scotishman they were all stuck on a island. One day they found a lamp they rubbed it and a genie came out. He said "you all get one wish". So the englishman said "I wish I li...
Doctor
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I'm being ignored. I been waiting forever!
Doctor: Next!...
Dog needs job!
One day, as a dog was walking by a store, he noticed a sign which said, "Now Hiring: must be able to type 70 words per minute, and must be bilingual. Equal opportunity employment." The dog took the sign in his mouth and ...
Parrot's Bad Words
John had a pet parrot for a number of years but the parrot always uses rotten words when guests come over. Fed up, John gets really mad and throws the parrot in the freezer to shut him up. After a little bit, he hears th...
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